coffee_queen: (butterfly)
[personal profile] coffee_queen
Title: The River I Cried
Pairing: Mark Webber/Sebastian Vettel
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is made up and done for the purpose of entertainment, not profit
Warnings: references to the angry sex
Summary: Mark and Seb were trying to get back to something like normality
A/N: They wouldn't leave me alone, the bastards, the absolute bastards. Anyway, a sequel like thing to 'The Perfect Crime'.
Word count: 900



Mark didn’t know when he found his way back to Seb. He just knew that, one day, the anger had disappeared, replaced with utter shame instead. He didn’t stop, not even for a second. He rushed towards Seb’s room, climbed into the bed, wrapped his arms around Seb as tightly as he could manage and begged for forgiveness until his voice was hoarse.

Seb hadn’t dared move at first, but it had all changed when he felt Mark behind him. He’d listened to every word Mark had said, though most of them were repeated and he hadn’t needed so many. He waited for Mark to stop talking before he turned over.

Mark bit on the inside of his lower lip and frowned.

Seb watched Mark for a minute before shifting closer and pressing a soft kiss to Mark’s lips.

“Sleep now.”

--

Seb was the first to wake up the following morning. He led there for a few minutes, delighting in being so close to Mark again, at feeling Mark’s arms around him, at smelling that smell that is so undeniably Mark. He turned over and opened his eyes. He spent the next several minutes just staring at Mark- he almost couldn’t believe he was getting to be so close to Mark again, but it was happening and he was certainly not going to ruin it. He freed one of his hands and reached out towards Mark. He gently ran his fingers over Mark’s face, tracing lines that he didn’t remember being there a week ago.

Mark muttered softly and started to stir. He was smiling before he could stop himself, but when he came into full awareness his expression darkened. He opened his eyes a fraction and turned his head away when he saw Seb.

Seb frowned heavily. He put his hand on Mark’s cheek.

Mark tried to push Seb’s hand away, but it was only a half-hearted attempt.

“Mark, please. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Mark shook his head. “I’m the one that should be apologising.”

Seb stared at Mark for a minute before trying to turn Mark’s head towards him.

“Mark, please just look at me.”

“How can I?” Mark pushed Seb’s hand away and sat up. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and put his elbows on his knees. He leant forward and put his head in his hands. “How can you stand it?”

“I don’t understand.” Seb sat up and shifted across the bed. He put a hand on Mark’s shoulder. “Talk to me.”

Mark glanced at Seb through the corner of his eye.

“You should hate me for what I did to you.”

Seb’s eyes widened slightly. He took a minute to recover from his shock and then moved across the bed. He leant his head on Mark’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist.

Mark sighed lightly and leant towards Seb, despite his worries.

“Why don’t you hate me?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Mark was caught somewhere between laughing and crying. He took several deep breaths before he managed to find his voice again.

“I’m sorry.” Mark turned towards Seb and grabbed onto Seb as tightly as he could manage. “I’m so sorry.”

Seb shifted around to a less awkward position and settled against Mark.

“I should have stopped myself. I should never have… I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t need you to apologise. I don’t blame you.”

Mark slowly turned to face Seb. He pushed Seb back slightly so that he could properly look into Seb’s eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I deserved it.”

Mark swore time stopped then- he felt like he stared at Seb for hours, but it could only have been a matter of seconds.

“What’s wrong with you? How can you think anyone deserved that? I’m supposed to…” Mark shook his head. “How can I say that I love you if I’d do that?”

“I hurt you first.”

“That was…” Mark shook his head. “I should have expected that from you. I mean, half the reason I fell for you in the first place was because you just don’t give up- you do whatever it takes.” He almost smiled. “I don’t want you to change. I don’t want you to be someone that I don’t know.”

“What do you want?”

Mark turned towards Seb and shrugged lightly.

“Not this.”

“Then we don’t have this. This is… We can just be like we were before.” Seb rested his forehead on Mark’s shoulder.

“Do you really think we can go back to that?”

“Yes.” Seb pressed a kiss to Mark’s shoulder, but then pulled back and frowned. “Do you think we can’t? Do you… Do you not trust me?”

Mark opened and closed his mouth several time before speaking.

“More like I don’t trust me.”

“No.” Seb shook his head. “No, you think I’ll do something to make you…”

“No, it’s not like that. It’s…” Mark covered his face with his hands. “How can it be okay after that? How can we be okay after that?”

“It’s finished with. Why does it have to mean anything now?”

“Can you just forget? Really?” Mark took his hands away from his face and looked at Seb. “Can you pretend that none of it ever happened?”

“I just want to be us again.” Seb leant over and pressed his forehead to the side of Mark’s head. “Can we? Please.”
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